"Breaking the Silence: A Survivor's Journey from Pain to Power" by Jennifer Kee

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With abuse, you suffer the loss of soul, loss of self, and loss of meaning"
"In the system, you must fight every day, every minute, to keep from feeling
worthless - to keep your spirit alive" K.W. (Survivor)

One of the healing therapies that Jennifer has done, is called ART which stands for
 Accelerated Resolution Therapy

Child Abuse

Childhelp®
 Phone: 800.4.A.CHILD (800.422.4453)
 People They Help: Child abuse victims, parents, concerned i Sexual Abuse

Darkness to Light
 Phone: 866.FOR.LIGHT (866.367.5444)
 People They Help: Children and adults needing local information or resources about sexual abuse

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

 ―  Maya Angelou 

t's summer, so it's a monthly interview show focused upon the reinvention of the lives of each interviewee as a result of or inspired by the life-changing illnesses or events that have now become part of their daily existence. And this morning, my special, special guest is Jennifer Key. Thank you for having me. Yep, yep, yep. It's a pleasure. It's always a pleasure. So this morning, I am the scrambled egg, and you are the ham, Jennifer. So, Jennifer, tell us a little bit about your background. Tell the audience about, you know, Jennifer. Sure. Fantastic question. Not quite sure where you'd like me to start, but I am a daughter from a family of four. I grew up in the lovely state of New Jersey. And I am a athlete. I am a fan, fanatic, not quite sure what word you want to use regarding Mother Nature and the outdoors. I guess a modern-day hippie, I've been told. And I presently am exploring so many new and adventurous journeys, which has now brought me to you. Wow, that's great. So you love the outdoors. You call yourself a modern-day hippie. Yes. So, Jennifer, today's podcast is about trauma. It's a good one. Okay. Great. Can you tell me a little bit about how it has affected your life? When did this start? You know, was it when you were playing sports in high school, college, or when part of your relationships? How did it start? Like, how did this thing start? Like, you know, no one just, you know, just glides on the top of the water. There's always something underneath the water, right? So what happened? Great question, Bill. And I really thank you for the opportunity to talk about this as it's one that I think doesn't necessarily get enough attention in this particular country and something that's very near and dear to me regarding the healing process from trauma. So for me, it's really centered around sexual trauma. At a very young age, I was groomed, is the term I've been told, by a family member, which the percentages say that's usually the place that sexual trauma happens. And it happened within my home. And from the age of what I can remember, seven to about 11 years old, there was a nice grooming process. And I say nice, and I'll explain shortly. Grooming process of at first just reading stories, right? Being told to listen to, having a book read to me. And that was great. And every night, I would visit with this individual and just read stories, which was awesome. And then I'd go back to my room. So over the course of several years, meaning seven through 11, the stories got shorter and shorter. Okay. And what I mean by that is the sexual exploration of the individual started to happen with me. So he was at an age that I think he was exploring his sexuality and decided to experiment with me. Now, because this was a family member, I really, truly believed that this is what you would do with a family member because of the nature of the grooming. It was pleasant. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't hesitant. I really just thought that everything he asked me to do was what other family members do with family members. And I never really talked about it as it wasn't explained to me by this individual that it was something to hide or not talk about. It just never really came up in, like, general conversation with my friends or with my parents or even with my other family members. So around, yeah, I guess around 10, 11 is when it got a little more aggressive and a little more intense. And the nature of the abuse, and I'll say then the grooming, went from touching to then true exploration minus penetration. Oh, boy. So I was specifically groomed to offer fellatio in a very specific way. And that process, and I say this with great detail, was, you know, horrifying now looking back. But at the time, you know, being a child and not understanding what is happening, I had the need to please. That was kind of instilled in me at that point. And at the direction of that individual, I mean, I can't tell you the rounds and rounds of practice I was forced to do to get it right by that individual. And because I think my nature, you know, was a competitive one. I played sports very early. I started playing basketball, you know, at the age of, like, five. Oh, wow. And I always, yeah. I mean, remember, I grew up with three brothers, so I was like your, you know, roundaway girl, tomboy. And I really aim to please. I really like to win. So in those environments of that grooming and abuse, I kind of put all of my effort into doing it right. And I got to tell you that grooming and that abuse stayed with me even till today and has come out in so many different ways throughout my life, through my relationships with men, through my relationships with women, through my relationships at work as it relates to men and how I interact. So it left a devastating impact. But at the same time, this is the part that I think for folks gets confusing, is I'm not even upset about it. Meaning, I don't want that person punished. I don't want that person to go to jail. I don't want that person to have any harm come to them. And that might sound like, why wouldn't you want that? I mean, they're a pedophile and they should be stopped, right? Yeah, but, okay, let me ask you a question. Yeah, well, you answered your own question, but you're actually going to tell us why wouldn't you want that person to be talked to, counseled? Why wouldn't you? Sure. It's not that I don't want them to. I think as a result of how all of that activity transpired, as I mentioned earlier, I'm a modern-day hippie and have a very strong belief in spirituality, which is, in my opinion, not of this world. I heavily believe in karma. I was going to ask you that. Do you believe in karma? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Wow. Yeah. So that individual I tracked and followed for many years and have come to find out the devastation in their own life and the things that took place in their life as a result of their bad doings. And I say that, again, this only applies to me, in my opinion, in my experience. I'm not suggesting this is how others need to think or believe. But for me, in terms of a reprimand or a punishment, it is happening daily to that person. Okay. Wow. Wow. Wow. The karmic retribution, right? Yeah. Yeah. Cause and effect. Absolutely. And something that's important that I want to share with you is as a result of that experience and being exposed to something too early in life to then understand the ramifications, I didn't become a promiscuous child. I didn't become a promiscuous teenager, nor did I become a promiscuous adult. But it put me in the category of trusting men in the most inappropriate ways. And women. Okay. Trusting men and women in the most inappropriate ways. I'm trying to filter that. What does, can you expand on that? Sure. Sure, absolutely. What I mean by that is because I was a remarkably, I think, beautiful child to the public, I had often been socially groomed to accept the advances of men and women when out in public. 

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